


sweetener

by gonqjunim



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:01:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25376575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gonqjunim/pseuds/gonqjunim
Summary: Five times Wakatoshi tries - and fails - to tell Satori he loves him and one time he finally succeeds.
Relationships: Tendou Satori/Ushijima Wakatoshi
Comments: 3
Kudos: 152





	sweetener

**Sweetener**

Five times Wakatoshi tries - and fails- to tell Satori he loves him and one time he finally succeeds. 

  
  


_un_

Wakatoshi first realized it when Satori offered him his favourite chocolate ice cream.

He remembered having a brain freeze after taking a big bite of the chocolate dessert. His heart was beating loudly, and there was a whirlwind in his stomach. When Satori noticed his discomfort, he immediately fetched him a bottle of water and asked him what’s happening. 

Being the idiot he was, with nervousness lodging on his throat, he answered, "Sphenopalatine Ganglioneuralgia.” 

Satori blinked his eyes rapidly, his mouth gaping at him. “What?”

“Brain freeze.” Wakatoshi whispered, embarrassment filling his insides like a tsunami arriving on a flat land. The scientific term was the least of his concerns (though he later explained that he knew about the word when he was reading an advertisement in a magazine one time). He was nervous, and terrified. But despite everything, he was finally at peace that he could, once and for all, put into words what he had been feeling for the past few months. 

He was in love with Satori. 

“I didn’t know you fancy Science that much, Wakatoshi-kun?” Satori smiled, almost teasingly. He nudged the other male’s shoulder and urged him to eat more. He continued to blabber about the best chocolate ice cream brands that 7-eleven had, and if he’d like then maybe they could try the others the next time they pass by the store.

There was something about the way he smiled; it was like the sun peeking from the grey skies on a cloudy day. Wakatoshi could feel the butterflies escape from the pit of his stomach, that even if everything around him started crumbling, his heart would be at ease as long as he was with Satori.

He learned that Glico is Satori’s favourite ice cream brand.

He also learned that he scrunches his nose when he gets shy talking about how passionate he was about chocolates and ice cream, and it was so damn adorable.

He also learned that his heart was just caught by his own best friend. 

“Are you alright?” Satori asked, waving his hand at him. “You keep on spacing out.” 

He felt his heart skip a beat. “Oh. I-” He trailed off. _I’m in love with you but..._

“I’m tired.” He lied, though he pretty much calmed down when Satori nodded and suggested they go back to their dorms. 

As the sun bade its soft goodbye, and the orange glow was slowly fading to black, he gazed at Satori. _...I’m not sure if you feel the same way. I don’t want to ruin anything that we have right now._

He sighed. 

In time, maybe.

  
  


_deux_

Satori was the type to randomly strike a conversation, and Wakatoshi often loved it when he did.

“Wakatoshi-kun, did you watch “Ring”? It was airing last week.” Satori asked, looking at him enthusiastically. 

He absentmindedly replied, “No.” as he pointed at Satori. “Are you not eating again, Tendou?”

Satori chuckled nervously, “I ate a lot for breakfast. I don’t think I can eat more than that.”

Wakatoshi sighed, mind revisiting this morning’s events. He could feel Semi and Ohira staring at them as Satori continued to blabber about why he liked The Ring and its female actress. “But there was another girl. To me, she was just so-so…”

“You only had a small bowl of rice and soup.” He chided, ignoring the information Satori was providing him, his menacing gaze giving the red-haired male a chill. There’s concern permeated on his tone, he silently prayed that it wasn’t noticeable. He took a sip of the water, in his attempt to hide it. “There’s a practice later, we can’t afford you slacking just because you didn’t eat.”

Satori pouted, and Wakatoshi wanted to kiss it away. His ears were hot, and the butterflies in his stomach started to flutter in their magic again. “You’re so mean to me, Wakatoshi-kun.”

He didn’t miss the way Semi smiled at them knowingly, like he knew what Wakatoshi _knew_. He took a spoonful of rice and shoved it in his mouth. “I am not. I’m just-”

“Oh. Maybe you’re having fun watching me pout like this? No?” Satori puckered his lips, a bit too mawkish, almost taunting him. Wakatoshi desperately wanted to close his eyes because he knew that he was doing this on purpose to annoy him. _Goddamn. I want to fucking kiss-_

“No.” He grunted, his face now schooled in a firmer tone. Semi and Ohira walked to their table, each with food on their trays, except for Satori who didn’t bother to get one even after Wakatoshi’s remark.

Satori snorted. “Eh. It doesn’t look like you enjoy doing anything, Wakatoshi-kun!”

Semi’s eyes widened at this, “O-Oi! That’s rude.” 

“Of course I do.” Wakatoshi disagreed, hiding his smile behind the bowl of soup, feigning the slurp. The other two males looked at him in curiosity, and he can see Satori peeking at him, his mouth adorably shaped in ‘o’. 

_I enjoy being with you. I enjoy waking up in the morning knowing that I’ll get to see you. I enjoy having lunches because you’re there to tell your stories that I love to hear. I enjoy watching you laugh. I enjoy watching you smile. I enjoy the fact that I’m in love with you._

He placed the bowl down. “But I won’t tell you yet.”

  
  
  


_trois_

  
  


“Here, give it to me.”

Wakatoshi stared at Satori’s palm, his hand was reaching out to him. He blinked his eyes and looked at him, confused. “What’s this?”

There’s a tinge of pink in Satori’s cheeks as he scrunched his nose, a bit abashed with what he’s doing. Wakatoshi noted how he looked even more handsome in their jerseys, how the purple mixed well with red, and how that deep curve on his lips can brighten up even the saddest of days. 

“You’re nervous. You can pass them to me.” Satori grinned, wiggling his fingers like jellies. 

He tried to maintain his composure. “I’m not nervous.”

The red-haired male coughed in embarrassment, “Of course. Of course. I just thought you looked uneasy.” He stammered, withdrawing his hand and clenching his fist.

Wakatoshi smiled and swiftly caught him, he clasped their hands together. “I didn’t say I disliked this one though.”

There was an awkward pause, and Satori was not the playful guy he usually was. He fidgeted around, but didn't remove his hand. 

"You're such a big baby, you know." Satori said, fixing the fringe on Wakatoshi's hair. 

Wakatoshi chuckled. "I am not."

When he realized that the taller male had just _chuckled_ , Satori dissolved into a puddle of laughter. He covered his mouth with his free hand, as he fought a new gale of giggles. Wakatoshi could feel his heart burst at any moment, and he didn’t know what had gotten into him, but he removed Satori’s hand from his face. 

“Don’t.” He whispered, leaning a bit closer. “It’s beautiful. Let me hear it.”

The other’s attention was now fully anchored on him. He stopped laughing, he was just nervous as Wakatoshi was. He could feel his heartbeat, and he could feel the butterflies in his stomach again. 

“Wakatoshi…”

He squeezed his hand, “I-”

“Uh. Sorry for the intrusion, Ushijima-san, Tendou-san. Coach Washijou is calling us. Our match with Karasuno is about to start.” Shirabu coughed nervously, looking away from them. The air of romance fleeted around, and the poor lad had to be the first to discover it. 

Satori jumped on his feet. Their hands were tingling from the foreign sensation, (albeit not too strange for him). Wakatoshi breathed deeply, finding a renewed vigor as he remembered who their opponents were, pushing the unresolved love confession into oblivion. 

***

“Tendou seems to be on a roll today.” Hayato commented. He was indeed more than his usual shape, despite some of his false guesses which Wakatoshi found endearing (and Coach Washijou didn’t). 

Taichi nodded, “Yeah. He even threatened the first years of Karasuno that if they’re going to beat Ushijima-san then they have to beat him first.” 

Hayato burst into a loud, harsh cackle of laughter. “You told them that, Satori? Was that a confession or something?”

Satori threw him a towel on his face. “Shut up, asshole! I’m feeling a hundred and twenty percent today. Let me be!”

There was a little rise in the corner of Wakatoshi’s mouth, a crease of amusement. He shook his head and thought about how he was probably assuming too much, but a man could dream, and he dreamt that Satori loved him the same way he did.

***

They lost the game.

With the whirlwind of emotions, pain of losing a game, anger in facing a formidable opponent he never thought he’d lose to, and loneliness in playing the last match, Satori told him something.

It didn’t come as a shock, but it still felt distressing when he heard it. 

“I’m going to quit volleyball in high school.”

Nostalgia already hit him even before it should. He could feel Satori’s resignation in his voice, his gratefulness, and all of his happiness for all the years he played volleyball. “I’ll watch all the big events you’re in on television and I'll be saying, ‘I was Ushijima's true friend’, so don't you dare go slacking on me.”

He felt his mouth become dry. His heart almost dropped at the word _friend_. The devastation was absolute, more than the fact they just lost a match. 

“Just a friend, huh?” The words escaped Wakatoshi’s lips even before he could control it. He heard Satori ask him in confusion, but the pain rang in his ears and it was loud. The answer became as clear as the water in a spring. 

He left before he could say another word. 

His anger must have been evident, as he confronted Hinata and Kageyama. His words were terse, but his mind was running elsewhere. 

  
  


_quatre_

  
  


“Are you guys having a fight?”

Semi stormed into his room on a Friday night. His scowl was even more evident than the usual. He scoffed when Wakatoshi didn’t answer his question. “Okay. Seriously. What the fuck is going on?”

“Nothing.” Wakatoshi timidly replied, flipping through the magazine he had read for the tenth time ever since that afternoon they lost the match, and he left Satori lying on the volleyball court.

Semi scratched the back of his head. “Yeah, like nothing means Tendou staying in our room for several nights. That dumbass wouldn’t even budge when we talk to him. One time Hayato thought he was dead!”

Wakatoshi looked up from the colored pages, the gray-haired male gasped. “Jesus, you don’t look good either. You look like shit.”

“Thanks.” He lazily responded. They hadn’t talked to each other for days, and the nights had been too quiet, like the way it was when he first came to Shiratorizawa. 

When they became close, Satori invaded his personal space. He first came with his pillows, asking if he could stay in his room since he’s the only one there. Sometime later, he would shift from one bed to another, eventually landing on Wakatoshi's bed and asking him to scoot nearer to the wall so he could sleep. 

Because he sometimes had nightmares, he said. But Wakatoshi would hear his loud snores in the middle of the night.

Because he’s scared of ghosts, he said. But Wakatoshi could often see him watch horror movies without screaming on the jumpscares. 

Because he likes this bed better since it’s softer than the others, he said. But Wakatoshi knew that all of the beds are of the same variety.

He smiled a little as he remembered all of these. No one knew about this except the two of them. No one knew about Satori resting his head on Wakatoshi’s arm. No one knew about Wakatoshi carefully putting a duvet on the other whenever the other got cold in the middle of the night. No one knew except the moon and the stars, and Wakatoshi’s heart. 

Semi sat on the edge, hand tapping on the railings of the bunk bed. “Tendou told me you don’t really consider him as a friend.”

Wakatoshi raised an eyebrow, “What? Of course I do.” He wanted to retaliate. It wasn't Satori's fault. But he couldn't tell him he was jaded because of a petty reason. 

He shook his head. “You don’t understand.”

The other male smiled, his gesture going rhythmically, like he was doing a melody of a certain song. “That you want him to see you more than a friend?”

He glanced sideways, afraid of the sudden confrontation. He heard Semi chuckle, “Damn. You’re way too obvious, Wakatoshi. Why don’t you just tell him?”

“He doesn’t like me that way.”

Semi grinned. “Well, why don’t you just _ask_ him then?”

Wakatoshi didn’t.

  
  


***

Lonely nights passed by, the moon and stars seemed to have weaker lights whenever Wakatoshi looked at them. 

There wasn't any progress in their silent war, and Semi bugged him about it every single day. The others were slowly starting to notice it as well, because Satori wasn't the type to keep a cold shoulder about things, especially not to Wakatoshi. 

"It's the Tendou Rule!" Satori huffed, exasperated about not getting the shounen manga on time, on how he should buy it on Saturdays of a three-day weekend. He stomped his foot, pouting like a child deprived of toys.

“Whatever. I’ll drop by 7-eleven on my way back, save some food for me, Semi-Semi!” He turned on his heel and walked away, Wakatoshi was purely convinced that the last line was a lie, because he would definitely buy some chocolate ice cream, and when he comes back he’ll just say he’s not hungry anymore. 

Satori turned back around, and dipped his gaze at him. “Wakatoshi-kun, come with me.”

His stomach knotted up, he gnawed the inside of his cheeks, as he felt his pulse pounding in his temples. The inky darkness engulfed the frail light, diminishing all the calm and serenity that the day had. Semi coughed and gave him a knowing look. A small sigh of anxiety leaped out of his mouth. 

“Yeah. I don’t mind.”

They remained quiet as they plodded through the night. There was a tiny distance, something that Wakatoshi did in abashment. He didn’t know if it was already okay to stick closer to him like they usually would. 

“Do you not consider me as your friend, Wakatoshi?” Satori broke the silence, his tone was grim, and he was clenching his fists. 

“You’re my best friend.” Wakatoshi countered. _You’re more than that._ The red-haired male finally faced him, with tears brimming in his eyes - and he felt like dying when he saw it. “Hey, don’t cry. I’m sorry.”

“You didn’t talk to me for weeks!” Satori hissed, pointing a finger on his chest. “I can’t even tell them I’m okay because I wasn’t. I felt like shit. I was so sad and frustrated.” 

“I know.” Wakatoshi pulled him, he was crouching in the middle of the sidewalk. The moon was shining brighter tonight. “I was wrong. I’m sorry.”

Satori humphed, folding his arms across his chest. “At least tell me why you ignored me like that.”

There was a long pause. Wakatoshi could feel his heart pounding loudly again inside his chest. The butterflies in his stomach started fluttering around again. It’s the same whenever he was with him. He was falling in love, over and over again. 

“I guess I was just…” He trailed off, and exhaled the nervousness out of his system. “I just want us to- watch out!”

A stranger passed by in his bicycle, clumsily driving (as if he was intoxicated), almost hitting Satori in the process. He swiftly caught him in his arms and pulled him into an embrace. “Are you okay?”

“I am. Thank you.” The other male nodded, face flushed from what just happened. Wakatoshi sighed for the umpteenth time, cursing the universe for every confession interrupted or brought into a grinding halt. 

“I want pudding.” Satori said, scrunching his nose, in an attempt to dismiss the bizarre atmosphere. “Anyway, what were you saying again, Wakatoshi-kun?”

He shook his head and smiled. “It’s nothing, Satori.”

Wakatoshi could feel the last ounces of his courage dissipating into thin air. On other days his confidence would only grow in mere inches. Maybe it was the way of fate telling him that he should only stay in that zone, and that the other only saw him as a friend and nothing else. A part of him wanted to put an end and tell him everything, for once and for all, but he wasn’t sure if things would stay the same if he ever did. 

He was confused. 

He was afraid.

But as Satori smiled in fulfillment, knowing how their friendship wasn’t lost and it still remained, Wakatoshi regained his composure. 

After being able to convince Wakatoshi to buy the pudding he really liked, Satori cheerily walked and filled him with balderdash - from mangas, to ice creams again, and puddings. Wakatoshi listened without restrained and focused more on how he radiated under the moonlight. 

“I meant what I said you know.” Satori asserted, “I’ll be watching all your events on the television, and maybe hangout with you from time to time. If you’re available that is. Also, if you’d still want to, meet me, if ever.”

“I’d like that.” He replied, thinking about how it would be great to be on dates with him one day. “Maybe we could hangout in foreign cities and eat this pudding.”

Satori chuckled. “In Paris, maybe.” He fiddled on the pudding cup, “Or in Geneva.” 

Wakatoshi smiled. “Sounds like a date to me.”

A trembling gush of wind inaudibly drifted across the skyline. Satori stared at him with a smile on his face. “Anyone would be lucky to have you, Wakatoshi-kun.”

_Silly. Only you can have me._

  
  


_cinq_

“Tendou, it’s been a while.” 

“Don’t tell me I’m still Satoshi on your phone.”

Wakatoshi snickered, “You’re the one who put it here. I’m too lazy to change it.”

Satori clicked his tongue, and he could imagine him shaking his head. “Like you didn’t put Wakari as your contact name here.”

He smiled sadly. His chest ached as he yearned for someone who was miles away. Their friendship had been kept and was treasured by both of them. Most of the time, it would be Satori who’d ring his phone, sometimes it’s Wakatoshi. There were days where they wouldn’t talk, but the red-haired male would ensure at least a message or two. Wakatoshi did the same. 

Even if it was a simple good morning. 

As days passed, and months turned into years, the yearning in his heart grew larger. When things got worse and they often did, Satori was the sky and the clouds, the light, the laughter, and the hope. He would pick it up in one ring. He would give him the comfort he needed. 

His voice was just all he needed and Wakatoshi felt that everything would be alright. 

But tonight, emotions were brimming in his heart. He went on and spoke his tale, on how he felt down because he met a child who found volleyball boring. The melodious laughter of Satori rang in his ears, and it was still beautiful. 

“Get good. Skill and strength are everything.”

He quietly agreed, but as his heart was violently pounding on his chest, he breathed deeply. “I miss you.”

There was a long pause before Satori spoke. “I miss you too.”

Courage came in and jousted for supremacy. He clenched his fists and exhaled, “There’s something I haven’t told you.”

“I think I know what it is,” Satori pondered, and there’s a soft chuckle that escaped from his lips. “But I think I’d like to hear it better when we meet.”

It was as if time collapsed into one tiny speck and exploded at light speed.

“There’s something I’d like to tell you too.”

_“Aimer, c’est vivre; aimer, c’est voir; aimer, c’est être.”_

  
  


“I can’t believe we went here just to eat at 7 Eleven.”

Satori laughed, waving the Glico chocolate ice cream at him. He suggested a vacation in Europe for Wakatoshi’s birthday. They could only go for limited places, but they opted for the ones that seemed most pleasing (at least to their eyes - make the most out of it). The latter could still remember Semi’s teasing words when he found out about the plan. 

_“Is that a fucking honeymoon?”_

_“Shut up, Semi.”_

_“I don’t know what’s wrong with you both. It’s obvious you’re in love with each other but you’re too scared to even tell your feelings. Someone has to make a move. Do it.”_

_“What if I can’t make him happy?”_

_“Wakatoshi, that is something you will do together. And trust me, you’re the reason why Tendou smiles.”_

The red-haired male ripped the paper off the ice cream, the sides of the dessert had melted a bit. He handed the unwrapped one to Wakatoshi. “Here, I’m bringing Japan to France by giving you this great Glico Chocolate Ice Cream!”

Wakatoshi chuckled. “You almost cried when the store clerk told you they don’t sell this here.”

“Shhh!” Satori placed a finger on his lips, “That’s embarrassing. Don’t say it.”

They sat on a bench, in a little park near the hotel they’re staying at. Satori sighed happily and stared at the skies. “I’m really glad that after all these years we’re still best friends.”

Wakatoshi nodded, he reached out for his hand and laced them together. 

“Wakatoshi-”

“Wait.” He interrupted, feeling his heartbeat racing erratically. He took a deep breath. “I’ve been meaning to say this for years already but I don’t think the universe gave me permission to do it just yet, at least up until now.”

The cool breeze kissed their skin, and Wakatoshi moved closer. “I don’t know how it happened, all I know is that one day I saw you and I had this solid feeling. It wasn’t planned. You told me we are friends. Yes. I know. We’re supposed to be that way, just you and me and nothing in between. But when you told me one afternoon that I was just a _best friend_ , I was so frustrated. I immaturely handled the situation because I didn’t know how to take it. I’m not okay with being just your friend. I always miss you. I always want to hear your voice. I’d like to wake up one day with you by my side. I’d like to be with you. You and me in this big scary universe. Because with all these uncertainties, you’re the only one I’m sure of.”

He wiped the tears flowing in Satori’s cheeks. “I’m in love with you, Satori. Always have. Always will.”

He leaned in closer, and tentatively brushed his lips against Satori’s. Warmth spread throughout his entire body, as he could feel the same passion ignite from the other when he wrapped his arms around him. It obliterated everything - the fear, the longing. All that’s left was them and the words that were finally said.

Satori nudged him with a tiny box when he broke the kiss, “Goddamn. And I was thinking I’m the prepared one tonight.” 

“What’s this?”

Satori giggled, and Wakatoshi’s heart almost leaped out of his chest. “Happy birthday, Wakatoshi. I’ve been in love with you for so long too. I know it’s fast, but here we are now. Marry me?”

The moon was shining bright. The sky was a black tranquility, star speckled and cloudless. It was a vastness of memories, with the constellations which witnessed centuries, and which kept secrets that they only knew up until tonight, and all of them watched this tiny moment.

The universe had just given him the greatest gift.

  
  
  
_\- fin -_

**Author's Note:**

> I tried to be canon-compliant but the romantic part of me got in the way lmaooooo. anyway, thoughts on this pleaseee? :)
> 
> (with haikyuu e-wording, i'm just so so sad. :( )
> 
> ADDED (07/20): HOLY SHIT USHITEN WENT TO PARIS FOR A DATE ASDFGHJKLSKSKSKS THEY'RE BESTIES????? THEY'RE MOST LIKELY MARRIED!!! I'M STILL SQUEALING THAT IT HAPPENED!!!


End file.
